Repentance is talked about a lot in Scripture. It is our proper response to God when we sin. It is also our proper response to other people we have wronged. We will focus on this second part – if I sin against someone and want to make it right, what should I do?
We will look at the story of the prodigal son. Jesus uses this story to illustrate what true repentance looks like – both toward God and toward other people at the same time. We will also look at other scriptures that fill out the meaning of repentance toward the one we have harmed.
The prodigal son definitely sinned against his father:
- After he got his share of his father’s property he squandered it all in a far country on reckless living – v. 13.
- He disobeyed his father – v. 29. (No doubt his father told him not to go away and be reckless, but he did it anyway).
- He devoured his father’s property with prostitutes – v. 30.
So he’s a good candidate to teach us about repentance.
The meaning of repentance
Based on how the word “repentance” is used in the New Testament, it means – a change of heart and mind that leads you to do what is right. We see this in the prodigal son – vs. 17-18. First, “he came to himself” – he had a new realization; a new perspective on his situation. What he has done is wrong. Second, he went back to his father to make things right. So here we see a change of heart and mind that led to appropriate action.
I want to emphasize this second point. Repentance is not just something that happens within you – an inner intention or feeling bad about what you did. Repentance leads to appropriate action so that you stop doing what is wrong and you do what is right. As John the Baptist said in Luke 3:8 –“Bear fruits in keeping with repentance.” What
are these fruits? The context show us that it means doing what is right in our relationships with others. Paul’s
message is stated in Acts 26:20 – “Repent and turn to God, performing deeds in keeping with their repentance.” Repentance always involves right deeds, not just an inner change of heart about our wrong deeds.
Four actions that accompany repentance
We also see in the story of the prodigal son four actions that accompany true repentance – which help fill out for us what repentance looks like.
1) Expressions of humility and regret. The prodigal son said, “I am no longer worthy to be called your son” – v. 19. When you have done what is wrong it is not a time to be proud. It is a time for humility and sorrow. The prodigal recognizes this, for he has not acted as a son. He has greatly hurt his father and wasted his resources.
When we hurt others we need to see and realize the damage and pain we have caused and we need to humble ourselves. After James calls his readers to repentance he says, “Lament and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy into dejection” – James 4:9. It is right to feel badly and to have regret. David calls this “a broken and contrite heart” – Psalm 51:17. And you should express this regret to the person you have wronged.
2) Confession of sin. The prodigal son said, “Father I have sinned against heaven and before you” – v. 18. He freely confessed his sin to the one he wronged.
James talks about this, “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed” -James 5:16. (I take it that this means confessing to the one you have offended).
Confession means being absolutely honest – this is what I did. Confession means owning what you did – I did it and it was wrong – and that’s it. Not – “Yes, I did what was wrong, but it wasn’t my fault – there was this circumstance, and that issue that has to be considered, and look at what you did. . .” You can imagine if the prodigal lived in our day he might say to his father – “You didn’t raise me right!” No, true confession means you have to own what you did. Proverbs 18:12 says, “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.”
3) Seek mercy so there can be reconciliation. The prodigal son said, “How many of my father’s hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! I will arise and go to my father” – vs. 17-18. He wanted to be reunited with his father. So he got up and went to him. “Can I at least by your servant?” he is asking.
Jesus talks about this also in Matthew 5:23-24 – “So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your sister or brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift.” If you have wronged someone – don’t even prioritize worship to God (the highest priority) over making things right with the one you have wronged. First go and be reconciled to your brother or sister. You need to try to restore the relationship you have damaged by seeking forgiveness and reconciliation
4) Take responsibility for the consequences of your sin. The prodigal son said, “Treat me as one of your hired servants” – vs. 19. He was ready to live there as a servant. He knew there were consequences for his actions. Now, his father, in love and grace, accepted him back as a son. But notice – he still lost all that he had, for all the rest that the father had was the other son’s and that would not change.
The example of Zacchaeus’ repentance speaks to this. He was a tax collector who was despised because he made his profit off charging more taxes than were necessary. When he repented he said, “Behold, Lord, the half of my goods I give to the poor. And if I have defrauded anyone of anything, I restore it fourfold” – Luke 19:8. He takes responsibility for his sin by giving back of his great wealth to those he cheated and he makes amends to those he stole from. In the same way if you have harmed others in a way that can be made right – do your best to do that; try hard to make it right; make it up to them if possible.
Repentance as a way of life
We all need to learn how to repent and practice this regularly because we all fail at times, sometimes really badly in our relationships with each other.
It is a practice that is necessary first of all because if we don’t repent of our wrongdoing we will be judged by God. Jesus said, “Unless you repent, you will all likewise perish” – Luke 13:3.
But more to our focus, it is necessary because if we don’t repent we can’t work toward restoration of relationships damaged by our sin. We end up hurting each other with no way to find peace; no way to be a community of believers in this place.
Jesus said, “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him” – Luke 17:3. This is directed at the one who is sinned against and teaches that forgiveness is necessary. But notice here – Jesus is also saying you need repentance to heal a relationship wounded by sin. You need both.
William Higgins
Christian teaching 
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